Alchemy Journal W.E. – Decisions

Greetings Alchemists!  

 

First off, I wish to say THANK YOU to everyone who has written to me over the last several months!  Your letters, comments, and well-wishings have proven to be a great inspiration to me and have given me the necessary fuel to keep going.   Without them, I’d have no idea (in any practical sense) if what I was doing was even having a meaningful impact.  Thanks to your willingness to share with me the impactfulness of my work I know that what I am doing is making a difference, and the sense of personal well-being that results from this is extraordinary.  Once again, thank you!  

Since my decision to fearlessly go forward with even greater depths of information, I’ve been pouring over the work I have produced over the last couple years and have come to the point where I need to make a couple decisions.  First and foremost is the fact that I doubt that I will have the time to produce the kind of polished videos (containing music, front and endplates, video clips, etc.) that I have been able to produce in the past.  This is not to say that I will not be producing more videos, quite the opposite in fact, I just doubt that I will be able to accomplish all that I have decided to accomplish and do it in such a way that it has all the bells and whistles that I’ve (by some extraordinary miracle) been able to find the time or the energy to produce over the last couple years.  So what’s this mean?

In the simplest of terms, it means that my videos will be more like the class videos that I shot last year during the LIVE sessions of Essentials of Practical Alchemy.  It means that I will be using my Samsung Galaxy Note 5 instead of my more bulky Canon video camera to shoot and briefly edit (if needed) any videos I produce and publish and that I will be able to do so on a much more regular basis.   I’ve been wrestling with this particular decision for some time, and some of you may think me silly for being such a perfectionist, but I have a definite sense of legacy building here, and it is my sincere desire that what I do now will benefit not only those who watch or read it today but also any who watch or read my material five, ten, or twenty years down the line.  Its this sense of legacy building that has kept me from just producing any old thing that crosses my mind in favor of only sharing those ideas that I have taken the necessary time to fully develop.  However, while I’m sure all this is fascinating, it is also objectively very superficial.  The real decisions that I have made are of considerably greater weight; at least to me.  

Over the course of the last two years I have received dozens of requests that I share my more personal beliefs and spiritual practices; essentially asking me to share what makes me, me; something I’ve been extremely reluctant to do … until now.  I’ve spent most of my life in relative solitude for one reason or another, and have walked this solitary path as an outsider and have contented myself to allow others to find their own way as I have done.  It is still my desire to allow others to find their own way, but as many of you (as well as my own family members) have pointed out to me over the last few years, sometimes finding your own way means having someone there to point the way and provide some clear directions when things get confusing or when one has become “lost” amid the chaos of it all.  To me, this is a profound position to be placed within, for such a position carries with it great responsibility; for the outcome of another’s life is now partly due to the influence exercised upon that life by the one providing guidance.   Up until now, I’ve shunned this mantle among the general public reserving it for my immediate family and closest friends (perhaps a bit more than half a dozen people all told).  I’ve meditated upon why this is, and have come to the conclusion that it has been due to fear; fear of judgement and fear of failure.  What if I express an idea incompletely or inaccurately, etc?  There is so much to know, to decipher, to discover, and to unveil, what if I get some of it wrong?   Well guys, I’m done with all that now.  If I get it wrong, I’ll fix it.  If it’s incomplete, I’ll fix it.  Basically, there’s nothing I can produce that can’t be made better later, and worrying about being perfect all the time is just silly.  

Now some of you may be wondering, “Why is he sharing this with us?”  Basically, I’m patterning for those of you out there who need to see this process unfold to a positive outcome, while at the same time sharing with you my commitment to go forward and take some risks.  Just please remember that the person speaking here is a scientist, an esotericist, a philosopher, an astrotheologian, and a rather ordinary man. As I have repeatedly said in classes, video, and essay, my observations or discoveries are the result of my work within the sciences and the occult and not due to membership in any particular secret society like Freemasonry, the Rosicrucians, the Templar Order, the Golden Dawn, the O.T.O. etc.; although twenty-five years of active membership in the Mormon Church was certainly influential, if not beneficial as a tool to understanding that there are communities out there who have a very specific knowledge base that clearly defines their worldview.  I point this out because I am fully aware at this point in my work that all I have come to understand and learn is clearly already available within these secretive groups (at least at the highest levels or degrees) and and that these principles and teachings are (and have been) embedded within every aspect of our lives since the start of civilization.  However, since I am on the outside, I have had to satisfy myself with critically observing these groups, their influence and teachings, without judgement or prejudice as an historian and cultural anthropologist and deduce what it is that is being done or taught to the best of my ability.   I suppose this knowledge, that what I know is known and kept secret by those in power, has been my greatest frustration relative to my work.  Why?  Because there is nothing about this knowledge that would do anything but help mankind.  This knowledge frees the individual who lays hold to it and grants one an aspect of determinism that is unavailable when shrouded by the veil of ignorance that comes from adherence to exoteric religious practices.  Why this knowledge is and has been kept secret is beyond me, save for the fact that the same persons who are keeping it secret are also keeping the world bound in a profoundly damaging ignorance, leaving those in the know with sufficient power to maintain rule over the world.  Well I’m tired of seeing this imbalance continue and have come to the realization that the wisdom and knowledge I have come to cherish needs to be shared completely and without reservation, to not do so makes me complicit with these secretive societies and part of the overall problem.  These groups may be the custodians of this knowledge but they are neither the owners nor are they the originators of this ancient wisdom and as such this knowledge belongs to any and all who would seek to embrace it.  It belongs to you should you so desire.  

So there you have it: expect more videos, more work, and a level of openness from me that will benefit us both, perhaps me more than you, as that I’ll be the one straining against my own desire to remain quietly unnoticed.  Growth is good.  Growth brings strength, and its time that I step up and show everyone just how strong you can become when you fully embrace all that you love and share it with the world.

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